Diamond Louise Rios - I love you more than I have ever loved myself. I love everything about you. You are PERFECT from the inside out. I don't even know where to begin when it comes to being pregnant with you. I did not like being pregnant but if I knew I was pregnant with YOU I think I would have liked it. But because I didn't know if you were a boy or a girl I didn't know how to act, what to do or how to feel. I was uncomfortable waddling around all extra huge & bloated. But I am SO GLAD I listened to your dad. Now that I met you since minute one Gosh YOU are perfect. Your lil fingers, your tiny lil head your skin color, your tiny lil eyes that looked up at me. Oh gosh just thinking about it I can remember it like it was last night. It was VERY VERY painful but YOU were all worth it without a doubt.
If I had to do it all over again for you I would & I wouldn't even have to think about it at all. I still would have only had one kid because you deserve all my undivided attention & love. Besides, I know you don't really like to share so I think it's best that you are my only kid :)
You know Grannie has been gone a whole week now. It doesn't seem that long does it?
I talk to Jesus A LOT more now than I have in years. He is who keeps me from breaking down. I know grannie is back with her mom & Seth. Prolly having the time of their lives.
Gosh I can't wait to get there with them. Seeing my gramma again is something my mind can't even relate too. I try to think about the day that comes but my brain goes into overdrive & shuts down.
Anyway - I think I am going to use this blog as my personal diary & journal from now on so you have something to read when I am no longer here to call you or talk to you - Kinda like grannie leaving us that journal she left for us that we never knew about - she IS slick aint she. I want you to know that I have never loved, adored or protected any human being like I do you. I will die for you. I won't even have to think about it I'll just go into auto pilot & do whatever needs to be done to save you. You come before me - That's just the way parents are with their kids :)
Grannie didn't seem as cool as she really was - Maybe because she just wanted to be a parent instead of how like some parents act with their kids. They want to be friends & not parents & you can't be like that. You always have to be the parent first & maybe become friends later when they get older, MUCH older & moved out of your house. Being friends with you kids will only mess their heads up (I think anyway).
I just love you so much more than you will ever know - I know we tell each other that all the time but if you really read the word love & know what it means you would understand how much it means. There isn't anything you could do that would change the love I have for you. God is PERFECT & has given me the very best human being there ever was.
I am going to try to post in this blog as much as possible or at least remind myself to instead of it being posted it in once or twice a year. I'll set myself a reminder so that I will keep it updated. There is a lot of things to read in here... Some of it is lame & from my past but none the less, it's all about me, my emotions, feelings & days of my life.
I'm going to walk with God on the right path instead of lingering with the wrong people on back roads. God has show me far too much to act like he doesn't exist or isn't as important as he really is.
:)
If I had to do it all over again for you I would & I wouldn't even have to think about it at all. I still would have only had one kid because you deserve all my undivided attention & love. Besides, I know you don't really like to share so I think it's best that you are my only kid :)
You know Grannie has been gone a whole week now. It doesn't seem that long does it?
I talk to Jesus A LOT more now than I have in years. He is who keeps me from breaking down. I know grannie is back with her mom & Seth. Prolly having the time of their lives.
Gosh I can't wait to get there with them. Seeing my gramma again is something my mind can't even relate too. I try to think about the day that comes but my brain goes into overdrive & shuts down.
Anyway - I think I am going to use this blog as my personal diary & journal from now on so you have something to read when I am no longer here to call you or talk to you - Kinda like grannie leaving us that journal she left for us that we never knew about - she IS slick aint she. I want you to know that I have never loved, adored or protected any human being like I do you. I will die for you. I won't even have to think about it I'll just go into auto pilot & do whatever needs to be done to save you. You come before me - That's just the way parents are with their kids :)
Grannie didn't seem as cool as she really was - Maybe because she just wanted to be a parent instead of how like some parents act with their kids. They want to be friends & not parents & you can't be like that. You always have to be the parent first & maybe become friends later when they get older, MUCH older & moved out of your house. Being friends with you kids will only mess their heads up (I think anyway).
I just love you so much more than you will ever know - I know we tell each other that all the time but if you really read the word love & know what it means you would understand how much it means. There isn't anything you could do that would change the love I have for you. God is PERFECT & has given me the very best human being there ever was.
I am going to try to post in this blog as much as possible or at least remind myself to instead of it being posted it in once or twice a year. I'll set myself a reminder so that I will keep it updated. There is a lot of things to read in here... Some of it is lame & from my past but none the less, it's all about me, my emotions, feelings & days of my life.
I'm going to walk with God on the right path instead of lingering with the wrong people on back roads. God has show me far too much to act like he doesn't exist or isn't as important as he really is.
:)