Yesterday and today have been very strange. I feel as if everything that is happening is taking place so fast. I've come to the conclusion that I'll never be here or there - content or unhappy - rich or poor - skinny or fat - sane or crazy. It's as if I'm never going to be 'anywhere' definite. That's the part I don't like. I want a man in my life but I'm not looking. I don't go out, or hang out or hell - I'm lucky to leave my house everyday. I feel like I have on an itchy sweater all the time. I'm finding that women are so much more desperate than men. They put themselves out there just waiting to get used up by a man. So many females depend on a mans smile in order to feel 'happiness' and their paychecks to go shopping. I know I stand out from most but damn - why do we tend to lean towards the dependency of another person in order to 'feel' anything? Seems men are all lairs, cheaters and minions but women are clingy whine asses.Where is the middle? Who determines what and where they stand in anything? Friendships, relationships, marriages - all that shit is determined by only one person - The "couple" is only a couple until one half of it decides it is done with being a couple. Doesn't seem fair hu? I'll never allow any one person to determine a damn thing for me. I call my own shots - at least I would like to think I do. It's so much simpler to not care than it is to keep trying. Trying at anything that enters my life seems like a uphill battle in beach sand. I don't wanna stress about shit I can't change and I don't even care enough about it to worry. Have I given up, Maybe.I'm tired of altering who I am to please others.
I have absolutely NO IDEA why I even bothered to write in this blog today...
I have absolutely NO IDEA why I even bothered to write in this blog today...
Quote of the day: Who I think is never was and who is will never be